Week end update.

Andrew and I had a lovely weekend together, both off of work together, ehich is a rare occasion. it was a Saturday night and originally we had had plans to go out for sushi with 2 friends of ours, plans changed and we ended up going out just the two of us over Harrah's Casino. We went dancing at the Voodoo lounge, in the Harrah's. The band was playing all 80s songs, and there were go-go dancers on two potiums tossing glow in the dark necklaces to the dance crowd.

After Harrah's we decided to go to Ameristar and check out the new club, called HOME. It is very exclusive. there are three different lines to get in. Andrew and I were in the "General Admissions" line. I call it the plain Jane line. More about that in a minute. The second line is for people who have their names on a list. The third line people had table reservations.

The table reservations are a 2 bottle minimum at $125 a bottle. When we finaly got into the club the lounge area has tables to sit at but they were for the reserved high price people. Where else could we sit? Officially no where to sit with out paying the fee. We saw an empty table, so we sat to people watch. Then a bouncer or someone who looks important, tells us we can't sit at that table because it is reserved. I saw that table through out the night and no one ever used the table. Obserd! So we got up and looked around the lounge for a place to sit. Three guys are standing around a "reserved table" drinking thier $125 grey goose vodka, so I go up to one of them and ask if we could sit down at their table. The guy said, Sure, the more the marrier. Andrew and I sat down and blended in with the table reserve peeps. One guy even offered us some vodka but the bottle was empty! HA!

later we went onto the dance floor, and the DJ started to toss wife beaters tee with the HOME logo on it. One of the tanks landed right infront of Andrews feet! I saw he went to get it, (thinking he was the gentalman picking it up for me...his wife!) he hands it over to a girl standing by him! He said she mummled under her breath that she caught it or something...so he gave it to her. I guess he is a gentalman either way you look at it. Oh well no free tee for me. We had fun though.

Oh so about the process of getting into this exclusive, brand new club. We are standing in line for the general public only to have bouncers let certian people from the line in first...people in BACK of us! Cutting ahead getting in first all according to the way they dress. that was our conclution anyway. The people who were cutting in, all looked a certain way. Hot and dressed to go clubbin. We felt like plain janes.

This post is deep in thought

What a beautiful insight about the geese. (see clip) The clip explains the reason behind why birds fly in a V formation and how they are interacting with other birds to help each other out as a team. I can't add the clip on this blog...here is what it says about Geese. Quoted from a slide show clip.

"As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird following. In a V formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone. Have you ever wondered why migrating geese fly in a V formation? As with most animal behavior, God had a good reason for including that in their instincts. Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone…and quickly get back into formation. Geese in the rear of the formation honk to encourage those up front to up their speed. It is important that our honking from behind” be encouraging. Otherwise it’s just- well- honking. When a goose gets sick or wounded, two other geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and provide protection. They stay with the unhealthy member of the flock until it is either able to fly again or dies. "

"...“Ask the beasts, and they will teach you; and the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you; and the fish of the sea will explain to you. Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?” JOB 12:7-9


I just had an upifany, to share with my blog readers:

God does work in mysterious ways. Don’t take time to question God, just go with it. I believe that there is a time and reason for everything. Things happen for a reason, and all we could do is adjust.We should be aware that our choices are not really our choice. God has already chosen for us... how the outcome will turn out. He has the greater plan for us all.

Andrew and I "CHOOSE" to get pregnant, God thought differently. It was not the right time, so I miscarried, maybe if the baby progressed further to term there would have still been something wrong with the baby? This was Gods way of choosing for us. This particular pregnancy was not the right time for us...? We will try agian and maybe God will let us keep the pregnancy the next time, and we will have a baby soon. God will choose for us when the time is right, and it will fit into his greater plan. When I was prego I was one of the geese flying in the V formation, with support from people around me. Then I misscarried and flew down to the pond to heal, my fellow geese are there for me while I heal and try agian. Then I will be prego agian and rejoin the V formation, maybe starting out towards the back and pick up my strength with the support of other geese to move towards the front of the V. When I get myself to the very front, it will be 9 months later and I will have God on my side, watching over me as I give birth to a healthy little baby. A baby for Andrew and I to raise as our own little geese to be proud of and a part of our family.

Why do some people have sex just one time and become pregnant, only to not want the baby and either give it up for adoption or even abort it? Why do loving couples who want to become loving parents choose to have a baby and try for a while to become pregnant only to loose the baby in a miscarrage? Where is the fairness in this? Some people don't choose to become pregnant and they call it "knocked up" We want to choose to be pregnant and can't (so far).

A bun in the oven, knocked up, there is a beach ball under your shirt!, Expecting, prego, preggy, pregnant, 9 months rag free, all of these phrases mean the same thing, and I want it so bad!

God, please choose me next, we want to have the stork bring us a baby, to raise a family of our own.

There is no more bun in the oven...

Andrew and I are sad to say we lost the baby. I was a few weeks pregnant but no longer pregnant. This is the saddest blog, right next to the one about my aunt Kate passing away, that I have to type. I am keeping it short, I don't know what to really type but frustration and sadness, and I don't want my blog to be a downer to read, for those who are having a happy day. Stay happy and don't worry about us. We will try agian. I feel so empty inside my tummy. It is so hollow, and babyless.

I am going to go eat some sushi and dye my hair red now. Two things that the DR said that I could not do while prego, that and eating lunch meat or cookie dough (raw egg batters).