I am glad to have this past week is done and over! What a horrible week it has been. Starting with last Saturday evening, I came home from work and checked the mail. Useually I will start sorting through a stack of mail throwing out the junk mail and setting aside bills, and start off reading any letters or cards I get first. I saw a letter from my Uncle Ed, ripped it open to see how they are both doing, and what trips they have been on recently. It was strange at first to see a letter in the mail after Christmas. My Aunt and Uncle always write a Christmas letter with the holiday card. This season I noticed I did not get one, so when I saw it on Saturday in the mail, I immediatly thought they must have been on a vacation or another mission trip and didn't get around to sending out a Christmas letter in time.
I read it only to find out that my Aunt Kate passed away! She died of cancer back on December 19th. Which explains why I didn't get the usual Christmas letter, and recieved a letter from my Uncle afterwards. I wish I never ripped open that envelop it was the worst news ever to get in the mail all stacked up with the misc. bills and junk flyers! The rest of the night I was balling, I flouded a small village...Andrew did not know how to help me but to just hold me and lend me his shoulder to cry on.
Then Sunday was ordinary, just went to work. Only thing though was I felt so sad on the inside, but on the outside I had to do a "service with a smile" and greet the guests at work cheerfully. What got to be so annoying by the end of the day was the repeated question, "how are you?"
People automatically ask others in passing, "Hi, how are you?" The other person useually responds back, "I'm fine, how are you?" Well in all reality I am not fine! I just found out my Aunt just died, but I can't really say that, I just have to say,"I'm fine." At one point a guests comes up to me, asked me the dreaded question, "How are you today?" I replied back, "Great, how about yourself?" I am thinking to myself why did I say "GREAT?" and why do people even ask others that STUPID question? Because, if the I actually replied back saying, Not good at all, I am feeling pretty sad today." I don't think the person who originally asked really cares! Would they actually set aside 5 minutes to talk to me and listen to how I am feeling for real? No I do not think so! They are not even listening to my short reply back of "FINE."
This question has become a very annoying question to me. Do not ask me, "how are you?" if you really don't even realize you just asked it. This question has become a repetitive greeting, like a robot, we greet one another either by walking by some one, or as we approach another and automatically ask it. Please just stick to the greeting, "Hello" or Hi, or "good afternoon!" Don't ask any more the dull, meaningless question of how I am doing. After that sad day of putting on a fake smile, I realized this. I have decided to not bother with the repetitive greeting, instead I will greet people through out the day with a simple, "hello" or "Good evening."
I had some issues bottled up I was not aware of till now, looking back on my frustration of working that Sunday after the news of my Aunt was found out. Luckily I had the following 3 days off afterwards. I stayed at home, thinking back on fond memories of my Aunt Kate, the next day I just slept all day and watched a movie on charter on demand. Then on my third day off I broke down my Christmas tree. Put away all of the ornaments and such, it was a tedious task that I kept putting off. I like decorating for the holidays, but taking it all down seems to be harder in the end, and packing it all back up in storage boxes. As I was putting away my ornaments I came across about 5 of them were from my Aunt Kate over the years! I am so glad to have them in my collection, it is even more presious, now that she is gone, to have these ornaments from her.
The week progressed and Friday comes along, I took Andrew's car in for an Oil change and he took mine to work. After the oil change, I was heading to work and the back, passanger tire blew out! On the dash was an orange "!" that lit up and I thought...I am almost to work and will check what that means when I park the car. Since I got the oil change I just thought maybe it was a light lit by mistake. A few minutes after the orange "!" lit up the car made a loud noise and wabble wabble, I quickly pulled over onto the highway shoulder. I had a tire blow out. I learned how to change a tire and use the car jack. It is amazing how the small metal car jack can lift up the heavy car so easily! I was in the middle of changing the tire, still cranking up the car to take off the ripped up tire, and a MO Dot worker pulled over to help me with changing it. He was very helpful, and he didn't charge me for his help either. Just a good deed of helping a lady in distress. I have seen other vehicles on the side of the road with MO Dot helping them out before, I just didn't know how to get a MO Dot person out to my car. If I had to call a MO Dot phone number or get them through triple A? This MO Dot worker was driving passed me when he saw me pull over, then looped around and came back to where I was on the off ramp shoulder. I am very thankful for his help! Thanks MO Dot man, where ever you are.
This new week is turning out better than this past week has been. I can not imagine it getting any worse than having the news of a relative passing away, and having a tire blow out, hopefully the week will be better news to come. Andrew will be startring his annual volunteer work agian. He does taxes for a non profit group called Vita, here in St. Louis. He has been volunteering with Vita ever since we lived in Burbank, CA and it has followed him through out our time moving around state to state. He will be working with VITA every Saturday till April when the tax season is over. I am so proud of Andrew, he is a great man and a great husband to have.
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